


Peanut Butter Jelly

by emmaisafangirl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Sassy Louis, but not between harry and louis, but not really, holiday au, penis talk, the omc is just mentioned, there's one cheating mention as well, they will end up together if i ever decide to write part two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 10:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18051194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaisafangirl/pseuds/emmaisafangirl
Summary: “Take your swimming trunks off.”Harry had to check the ground he previously laid on to make sure his eyes didn’t bulge out of his head. “Lou, listen, I really like you and sure, you’re pretty attractive if you ask me, but I don’t think this is the best time…” It was Louis turn to be surprised. He raised his eyebrows and completely forgot about all the pain he was in for a moment. It suddenly reminded itself though. He wailed in agony and Harry grasped his smaller hand in both of his own bigger ones and continued to babble nonsense. “Oh, sure, if you think it will help you forget about the ache. I’m on it, darling, just wait a minute.”Or: Louis' plans for holiday fall apart. At the end it's not a complete disaster as he thought it would be.





	Peanut Butter Jelly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stef (louisgaynkles)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Stef+%28louisgaynkles%29).



> It's a short drabble, but I'm not a native speaker so I struggled the whole time. I regret nothing.

“Ahhh!“ came into the silence of a sandy beach. “Harry, for the love of God, help me,” followed shortly afterwards from the same direction.

Louis was trying to get out of water with fear written all over his face, that even overshadowed the way little droplets of salty ocean water made their way down his naked chest all the way to his tropical speedo. If it wasn’t for the urgency in Louis’ voice, maybe Harry would wonder whether Louis bought it in women section and whether he has a top piece to match. Some other high-pitched screams were heard from the shore, making Harry swallow a pun about his bestie sounding like a C. J. from Baywatch. Louis would be the first person to try the I-got-attacked-by-a-huge-shark prank on holiday, but this sounded important.

Louis was laying down in the sand, merely few inches from the water and pointed to his right leg while constantly screaming. There was no trace of blood, so a shark attack was instantly excluded. At first glance it seemed Louis was just pulling his leg, but after a closer inspection of the dainty leg, that ended up in Harry’s lap, angry red splotches on his skin became visible from his calf to his inner thigh. A jellyfish. Harry barely remembered something about jellyfish being present in the sea written in the guide they got at the airport. It said to stay close to the shore, since there are some dangerous creatures living further to the sea. Louis shouldn’t have swum so far. Harry told him as much. But Louis being Louis stood his ground saying there’s nothing to be afraid of and Harry is just a pussy.

Harry didn’t even know this was supposed to be Louis and his boyfriend’s holiday at the beginning. He thought Louis offered him this invitation to holiday, because Harry spent an awful lot of time at work these days. He chose to work overtime over going to the pub with Louis and the lads in the evenings. He first suspected there’s something off on the plane, when the steward seated them in the first-class section and returned few minutes after with a champagne and strawberries that were paid for beforehand. By the time the hotel room doors revealed one huge double bed scattered with rose petals and a heart shaped mirror on the ceiling above the bed, he was sure something went wrong along the way. During a romantic dinner for two at a sunset, Louis had to spill it out. It turned out, this pompous romantic holiday was a long time coming for Louis. For months he was making sure everything would be perfect for him and his boyfriend. He never told him anything to make it a surprise. He was planning to give him the plain tickets on their anniversary. He went to the bakery that day instead of going to work, and asked Barbara, the lovely old lady and his friend, to help him bake a cake. She did most of the work, but he decorated it himself with a very cliché pink cream and mentally patted his shoulder for doing such a good work. On his way back he stopped at a flower shop too to buy some flowers. You can never make a mistake with flowers, especially not with roses.

He should have stopped in the living room, when he spotted trousers lying on a coffee table that didn’t belong to him for sure, neither to his boyfriend. He would remember him buying a piece of fabric like that. If this didn’t stop him from going to their bedroom, the noises being heard from the room unmistakeable for anything else, but pleasure should. So, it shouldn’t come as such a surprise considering the number of hints along the way, when he opened the door and saw. He still felt shocked when seeing him with that creep. He must have been at least ten years older than Louis. And at least 10 pounds heavier. [It’s not like I have an idea how much is a pound.]

In conclusion, Harry wasn’t in his original plans. Maybe that’s why the driver at the airport held the “Mr Tomlinson and his partner” sign. Harry should probably put two and two together as well. Maybe this was the reason him and Louis got along from an early age, they were both equally dumb.

So, this is how Harry ended up on a romantic holiday with his best friend, who had been attacked by a jellyfish.

“I’ll some doctor, wait a sec,” said Harry and turned to go get his phone, that was left lying on his sunbed. Louis probably predicted Harry intentions, so he stretched his other leg without any red spots and tripped Harry’s feet. “What the heck are you doning?” Harry lashed out, after he had got rid of any excess sand he got in his mouth when fell. The aftertaste of it was disgusting and so were the grains of sand grinding between his teeth. He wasn’t in the mood for joking around.

“Do you reckon you know any doc around here? Or do you suddenly speak Hawaiian?” Harry immediately tried to protest that most of the population only speaks English, but he changed his mind after seeing the look on Louis’ face. Harry was just trying to help, what’s Louis’ problem? “Take your swimming trunks off.”

Harry had to check the ground he previously laid on to make sure his eyes didn’t bulge out of his head. “Lou, listen, I really like you and sure, you’re pretty attractive if you ask me, but I don’t think this is the best time…” It was Louis turn to be surprised. He raised his eyebrows and completely forgot about all the pain he was in for a moment. It suddenly reminded itself though. He wailed in agony and Harry grasped his smaller hand in both of his own bigger ones and continued to babble nonsense. “Oh, sure, if you think it will help you forget about the ache. I’m on it, darling, just wait a minute.”

Louis might have even laughed if his face wasn’t contorted with pain. Harry got out of his swimming trunks, which might be way too colourful for Louis’ liking. He grasped himself in the palm of his hand. Louis watched him for a (few) second(s) until he decided to end the torture. “Harry,” he addressed him to get his attention and waited for him to open his eyes. “I need you to concentrate now. Pee on my leg.”

Harry looked a bit taken aback. “Wow, I didn’t know you’d be into that kind of things, but- “

Louis interrupted him before he could embarrass them both any further. “No, Harry, I mean piss on these spots,” he pointed to the blotches of red.

Harry blinked a few times. “Oh, I see. So, you… But that means… Oh my god, I… Don’t look at it!” He came into realisation and started to shield his bits from Louis’ curious eyes.

“Just a few seconds ago you were ready to jump on me and suddenly I can’t as much as look at you? If you remember I’m older, so I’ve seen it before your testicles descended, so if you would kindly put your stupidly big hands away and get your pee on my leg, that would be great. I heard it’s supposed to help.”

All Harry could do was blink a few times more, before he remembered the situation, he was in. “How am I supposed to do this now with a hard on, you jerk?” he said referring to his groin.

Louis had the audacity to try and look offended. “Did I ask you to touch yourself?  I don’t think so. I wanted you to get rid of this, goddammit,” he tried to lift up his leg, but ended up wincing and giving up.

“Alrigh, alright, don’t look please,” said Harry. Louis looked up at him with an arrogant expression, but Harry captured the moment Louis wanted to start talking and beat him to it, before Louis could start on embarrassing stories from the time, they were both little kids and ran naked around his grandma’s garden. “Don’t even think about it. And close your damn eyes, I can’t concentrate otherwise.” He then closed his eyes himself and took a deep breathe. He had a task to pay attention to. He grabbed himself in his right hand again to aim properly. “You know I can still feel your eyes on me. You don’t make this easier for me, neither for yourself.”

Louis finally decided to fulfil Harry’s requirements and then sighted in relief when the pain slowly went away. It wasn’t long before he could stand up on both legs properly again. He hugged Harry who still had the swimming trunks around his ankles and simply stated, “So that was fun.”

Harry couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Louis jumping to the sea once again. He knew there was no point in warning Louis about not swimming too far once again, but he re-evaluated his choice not to do so half an hour later when Louis shouted “Fuck, not again!” somewhere from the sea.

This was going to be an interesting holiday experience.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on [Tumblr](https://herefortommo.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
